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  • Writer's pictureTristan and Gail

The long-awaited birth of my Phoenix Elliott - part 2

Updated: May 25, 2018

12:30 AM - I had slept about two hours when I woke up having some serious cramps. When you read all of the mommy blogs and Babycenter pages about taking castor oil to induce labor, you find out there are often some yucky side effects. It is, after all, a laxative. However, that issue was short lived, only around thirty minutes or so. Thank you Lord!


1:00 - At this point, I was feeling serious contractions. I sat on toilet thinking “Holy CRAP this hurts” and at the same time “I have to calm down, because this is the very beginning and it is going to be more painful if I don’t relax into it...” I woke up Fabian urgently and told him to call my amazing doula, my mom! He took some time to wake up, he was disoriented because neither of us expected labor to come on so quickly!


1:30 - I was having a hard time staying in control, because the contractions were consistently 1.5 to 2 minutes apart. As a doula, I have a portfolio of comfort measures to draw from, so I went with the easiest one and I jumped into the shower. It didn’t lessen the intensity of the pain, but it did help me to wrap my head around the idea the idea that this was the day! I was trying hard to stay quiet and not wake up my two year old, Wren, but I was already vocalizing to get through each contraction.


2:00 - My mom arrived, which was a huge relief to both Fabian and I, and she started to make suggestions for comfort measures. We tried the rebozo, heat packs, cold packs, and I’m sure other things, but the only thing that gave me relief was counter pressure. SO. MUCH. COUNTER PRESSURE. I gave my husband and doula the gift of very sore arms. I was feeling nervous, and like things were moving quickly, so my mom called my midwife. She suggested we stay at the house a bit longer, and then to give her a thirty minute heads up when we were ready. We spoke to my sister and told her it was time to come over and stay with Wren.


3:20 - I had been dreading the car ride, but knew we needed to get to the birth center. Fabian was worried the baby would come in the car, so he drove WAY too fast. My mom stayed right behind us the whole way, and later told me she was worried I was going to have the baby in the car because of how fast he was driving. It took fifteen minutes to get from our house to the birth center, and during the ride I had five contractions. I remember each of them, and I’m sure my fast and furious driver does too. When we arrived, I was certain I would be measuring 8 centimeters.


3:45 - I made it up to my beautiful birthing suite. My midwife Meagan greeted me, and my videographer Neeli was there to document the moment. She checked me, and when I heard “You are at 4 or 5 centimeters” my heart dropped. I knew I had so far left to go, and technically I wasn’t even in active labor yet. Baby was still high, and I had some work to do. I wasn’t able to figure out what to do on my own, but my doula and midwife encouraged me to do some stair lunges and squats. I felt much more in control while maneuvering the stairs, and it was the only stretch of time where my contractions spread out from 2 minutes apart to around 5 minutes.


Between 4 and 5:19 - Time was a bit fuzzier for the next stretch, but I know I swayed while leaning on the bed, sat on the toilet, and eventually got into the shower. I was exhausted in every way. I know my amazing team was always there, and they made sure everything on my birth plan was accomplished. The oils were diffusing, the worship music was playing, people were praying, but I was barely present. I cried, and I felt like giving up, but I knew I had to be getting close. Meagan asked if I wanted her to break my water, and I eagerly agreed. Although I wanted my water to rupture naturally, I needed to move forward before I lost it. When she checked me, I was just at 6 centimeters dilated and the baby was still high. She told me that I would need to do some more squats and lunges after she broke my water... but then she broke my water, and immediately everything changed.


5:20 - My mom had told Meagan that we would know I’m in transition when I started throwing up... I went into transition immediately after my water was broken. I had to jump up to my feet and then immediately hurled all over the floor as the rest of my water splashed everywhere. I’m sure it was glorious... Thankfully it was short lived. I went to the bathroom while they started to fill the tub. According to my incredible mom/doula, I started pushing while still on the toilet, and she practically dragged me up and into the other room with the tub. She did not want her grandbaby born into the toilet!


5:40 - I got into the tub, and was bearing down along with my body. I couldn’t fight the urge to push, it was so powerful. With my mom behind me giving counter pressure and encouragement, and my husband in front of me cheering me on, I knew it was time to meet my baby. I saw my affirmations up on the wall, and focused in on one that said “Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created.” At this point, I had to roar out my baby, there was no keeping quiet or low. I was on my hands and knees when the head was delivered. I could feel a head full of hair, and a perfect, tiny little ear. I asked Fabian to reach down and feel his baby’s head too. I asked if I could lay back, so that I could be the one to pull my baby up, which I was too overwhelmed to do anyway.


5:45 - I remember hearing my midwife saying that the baby did not rotate, so the shoulders were stuck. She had to gently rotate the baby, and on the next push, out came the most perfect little person in all the world. Meagan and Fabian caught my baby and laid him on my chest. Everyone wanted to know the gender, so Fabian looked and proudly announced that we had a son! It was an incredible moment, and I was overcome with emotion. I couldn’t stop crying!


The journey was intense. After my 34 hour labor and delivery with Wren, 5 1/2 hours was so unexpected. There is so much more to share about the postpartum experience, but I’ll keep you hanging on until the next blog.


*** Edited to add: I use the term natural childbirth to mean birth that is low intervention and without use of pain meds. This doesn’t mean that other births are unnatural or less beautiful, all births are beautiful. Sometimes birth requires interventions, and we are so glad to have them in those cases. For me, my first birth required interventions. It doesn’t mean it was unnatural, it just didn’t fit the definition of natural childbirth. For me, this is my first natural childbirth. I’m proud of that.


Before I move on, I just want you to know how vital it is to have a team that supports you. Without my husband, mom, midwife, nurse, and videographer, I could not have accomplished this birth naturally. Without my chiropractor’s support throughout my pregnancy, I would not have been able to feel strong and confident in my ability to birth. So many people in my natural birth community cheered me on and reminded me that I was made for this. My family learned so much about natural birth and they never once doubted me or questioned me. I am so blessed to have the love and support I do.


This GORGEOUS film was created by Neeli Brisky of Eucharisteo films. Please go check out her work, and give her some love. She is full of passion and talent! https://www.eucharisteofilms.com/


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